By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bringing a reply back to the top as it would be waaaay down the pafe

A lot of information on line is often very serious and tangled up in transgender speak which worries women straight away and yes lots of support sites suggest crossdressing is progressive and thats right but its the way they go about worrying women in what they write when what it should say is talk .. dont get advice from a faceless website chat and communicate find the truth together.

Lots of forums do frighten with words such as transition as lots of people don’t get the part time occasional crossdresser, dressing for the fun of it.. “there must be more to it than that!”.. “not a lot more actually no”

To convey that a woman would be delusional to think any cross dresser wouldn't eventually transition or become gay and that women are fools for staying married is very wrong and probably comes from a woman who this has happened to which I think is very rare.. She’s obviously unaware that Jedi CrossdressMasters exist lol.

I’m glad to read Sindy saying this is a “Fun, informative support place” as for me its Mission Accomplished as thats what I want the blog to be.

I think I will look up on line other wives who have told friends and how they reacted and might blog about it.. Is it a good idea or not? Others won’t get it but may tell others even if its “a frends of mine tod me her husband crossdresses...” Some like my wife would say each to their own as long as my husband does it… oops. Must be cool to know you have a shoulder to cry on if you need to.

I know why you needed it .. You needed to get it off your chest and that understandable which is why I would understand if my wife has or wanted to talk to someone about my crossdressing.

I’m sure if people found it it would be easy for me to deny or i’d used the old Jedi Crossdress Master mind trick and erase their memory… I’ve also wateched Harry Potter enough to know the magic word to erase memories is “Obliviate”

Your husband has an inkling? He doesnt know? I’d want to know if my wife had told someone and what she’s told them and how they reacted and what they said or advised her.

I dont think my wife would be ok with me booking a hotel just for me to go and dress, luckily I get away with work and they pay for the hotel and I pack “Davina” lol I worked from home today and got dolled up which was nice but opportunity as the kids get older may be reduced to when I work away and stay in a hotel.

Collecting cards or model trains or something? That’s not sexy!! Lingerie is lol you cant get the weird stress release from collecting stamps.

Sindys house is a kinky nightmare lets all visit lol.. and yes watch your lingerie boys get upto all sorts lol..

The same as Katie I have a tracker on the kids phones as the oldest wants to go out alone this summer so got a phone put a tracker on it but I’d only dress at home with knowledge that theres no way anyone would find me dressed. So I know when it's safe to dress. Kids are at school or with baby sitters and if they're ill the school phones. My wife is at work but ok seeing me dressed when she comes home for lunch and provided we're not expecting a delivery I know I've got a window of a few hours too.

I always sleep as my male self if I dress when away with work too. Make sure no signs of makeup before I hit off the lights to sleep.. Then make sure again in the morning no sign of makeup before I go into work.

I feel the same Katie as I can only dress for so long before I get bored - all dressed up an nowhere to go! And once I’ve dressed it can be days, weeks or months before I get the urge again to dress up.

I agree with Katie on the clip clop of heels and the sound of a zipper on a dress or skirt and that sound of nylon on nylon as a woman walks or crosses / uncrosses her legs.. No male equivalent.

Sindy thinks most of the things we like are positively dull … Women dont notice the things we feel they’re so lucky to have like stockings, lingerie, heels and other things like makeup and dresses which accentuate them which “does it” for us men and more so us crossdressers.

Wearing makeup isnt weird nor is making an effort to look nice £Especially for your husband” lol who’s mad us crossdressers or women? But remember we like visual things lol.

Yes I glam up as a guy but do this most days eg do my hair, dress nice, shave or have designed stubble and dress nice always trying to present myself to look nice as a bloke and more effort if im on a date with the wife oh and nice aftershave always have to smell nice.

I like to present well as a bloke and as a crossdresser you have to have a bit of pride in your appearance.. I hate that women once married and content cant be bothered to make the effort especially for their husbands as you dont know what a kick in the teeth this is for us.

Like Katie I keep my nails neat and tidy (they grow so fast my wife is jealous like my long eyelashes too) and I also use a male grooming set (sindy stop laughing) to make sure my eyebrows never get unruly and thick/ bushy along with no nose hair or hairs in my ears!

I have designer stubble more often than not these days as I think I look better with it and so does the wife.. and sometimes grow a man beard until it itches and I have to shave it back.

Agreed shaving body hair is to do with feeling clean.

No doubt there are more Sindy, Emma, Hannah and maybe my wife questions to raise from all this..

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bringing a reply back to the top as it would be waaaay down the pafe

I enjoy black tie do's. Putting on an evening suit always makes me feel good but obviously that's only on special occasions. I'm also happy to put on suit for work but a new suit it loses some of it's impact after a while.

Any invitation that says smart casual always make my heart sink. I can never get it right!

I always like to feel clean. I hate dirty nails and hands and maybe I'm a bit obsessive in always cleaning them when I do any DIY.

I keep my nails neat and tidy and make sure my eyebrows never get unruly! I may have designer stubble on occasions but never let it get to long before a shave.

I think some of the wanting to shave my body hair is to do with feeling clean. Women always seem clean with their smooth skin. Hairy, sweaty men just don't!

So I can feel good when I get dressed up in male mode. I do like to make sure that I am clean and respectable (a part from when I'm doing the DIY) but it's not the same buzz as I get dressing as a woman. Again it has to be in certain style and maybe the soccer mum style wouldn't work for me.

I coach a football team so all too familiar with the style!

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Bringing a reply back to the top as it would be waaaay down the pafe

I looked at a list after your comment. Apparently, I also need to hide balloons...and possibly the dog!! Wow. Eye opener. Humans are so very weird!

And I've never thought about the different sounds men and women make. Especially not clothing etc. I guess this is all part of the crossdressing intrigue and maybe you really do see life a little differently than the rest of us. I swear most of the things you get such joy from are positively dull for me. I wear make up every day for some weird reason, because my mother did I guess, but it's probably like you putting on a tie for work. It's a routine. Hair styling, clothing...it's all so dull. I wonder how I'd feel about a fancy night out these days. Would I be excited or still feel ho hum? Actually, I think I might feel excited. Soccer mom land doesn't give much opportunity to glam up. It was all I did in my single twenties. But, I might not remember HOW to get dressed up its been so long. Lucky I have a husband I can ask!

Even writing that makes me uncomfortable...sad but true.

Funny thought - do you also 'glam up' as a guy? And I don't mean Boy George (showing my age there haha), I mean, do you also care about your male presentation? My husband does. He's equally obsessed in either form, which is okay by me. I like men who care about their appearance...throw back to the gentleman days I guess (my grandfather was so well dressed it was lovely). Many cross dressers say they don't care about their male presentation which always strikes me as sad. Sad for the men who will never know their full potential, and the wives who also misse out. Anyway, curious what your thoughts are on this.

Meanwhile, I'm off to ban all balloons and rehome the dog. :-D

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Bringing a reply back to the top as it would be waaaay down the pafe

My kids are both at senior school so have the keys to the house. Not that they use them. It's easier to ring the door bell than get them out their bags!

Going back to my MI5 ways I can track the kids on 'find my iPhone' so I know where they are. It also means I can put any photos on the phone but don't take them anyway so not a problem.

I know when it's safe to dress. Kids are at school and if they're ill the school phones. My wife is at work and provided we're not expecting a delivery I know I've got a window of a few hours.

I've done the away on business and taking my stuff. It's fun for a while in the hotel room but I always end up sleeping as my males self. I can only dress for so long before I get bored - all dressed up an nowhere to go!

It just seems such a waste of money - think what I could buy instead! Dressing as a woman doesn't necessarily come cheap!

I think I'm pretty good on my heels but the ultimate would be the walk on a hard floor. There is something evocative about that clip clap of heels on a hard surface. I can sometime hear women walking in heels on the pavement outside and think if only....

It's funny that there are certain noises which are only feminine. I love the sound of a zipper on a dress or skirt. No male equivalent. A male zip is more rugged and brutal in comparison. The click when you shut the eyeshadow or blusher case. Not really any male equivalent and if there was it would be somehow cheaper!

I haven't ever told anybody that I might ever meet again about my dressing a part from my wife. I did think about confiding in my sister. Partly for my own benefit in having someone to talk to but also because I thought it might give my wife someone to confide in.

I don't think she's ever told anyone else. It has crossed my mind as I know the subject of transgender kids has been talked about at her natter club (an excuse for a group of women friends to get together of a few bottles of wine and whinge about their husbands!).

I do, however, think that most people we meet socially wouldn't really bat an eyelid about crossdressing. There maybe a bit of leg pulling but nothing worse. I think people wold be discreet enough not to make it an issue.Maybe sometimes it is far worse in our heads than the actual reality!

If you're trying to make your house a kink free zone you're onto a sure loser. Just one look at a list of fetishes and you'll give up!

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Bringing a reply back to the top as it would be waaaay down the pafe

And sorry, forgot to answer, but I think I'd be fine if my husband wanted to dress away from the house. I think I'd prefer it! Financially it's not smart, but for the peace of mind I'd get knowing the kids won't see, I wonder if it's not worth it. Hmmm...

Gosh, you lot do like to complicate our lives don't you lol. Couldn't you and Katie and my husband have decided to like collecting cards or model trains or something? No, you had to go and get attached to crossdressing. I hope my sons aren't dabbling in things at the moment. They're about the age these behaviors start...better go bury my lingerie somewhere. Or maybe I need to worry about the cupboard full of diapers, or their plush toys. Omg, my house is a kinky nightmare!!! :-D

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Bringing a reply back to the top as it would be waaaay down the pafe

Jedi Crossdress Masters - the perfect name haha!! You'll certainly lighten the wives up as it always feels so damn serious at the start and as though you've found out your husband is a pedophile or something! It's sort of ridiculous when I think about it now but the information online is often very serious and tangled up in transgender speak. Much of it also suggests that if a wife stays she'll eventually be living with a full time femme husband as crossdressing is progressive so get over it or get out.

I can't count how many forums out there tell women her husband will want to transition one day. Or sleep with other men. The last support forum I was on became so bitter and twisted I ended up in tears when another wife informed me we were all delusional if we thought any cross dresser wouldn't eventually transition or become gay. We were fools for staying married. Not cool.

So a fun, informative support place like here would be very popular. There are millions of cross dressers worldwide, many with wives. Ha, you might have to quit your day job Davina. :-D

And heels on concrete? Ah, once upon a time I could do that without a thought. Now I'm in soccer mom mode I'd probably fall over with you lol.

And Katie, omg, the image of my parents as adult babies is seared in my mind now. Thanks for that!!! lol

And as for telling friends, I hadn't planned on it but the situation was actually very unique. Turns out, one of my close friends had a brother in law who crossdressed and she mentioned it in passing one day. In fact, she sort of kept mentioning it as her sister and him had a nasty divorce (not over the dressing but because he had mental health issues) and I started worrying it was making my husband anxious. Anyway, we became very close and she shared something very personal and serious with me and so I told her about my husband. She doesn't get it like I don't, but it was also nice to know that if anything ever did go wrong in my marriage that at least one person knows the whole truth. I don't know why but I needed that. I also doubt she'd tell her husband as he and my husband are friends and he's a bit of a homophobe and not very communicative - I'm pretty sure she doesn't tell him anything about anything. He's too hard to talk to!

Besides, what she shared with me is worse, in so many ways. I think we both know we are keeping each other heavy secrets so that's sort of cool. I've never told anyone hers and never will.

The other friend is a shrink (God, why am I friends with so many shrinks?!) and knows of other acquaintances and family with kinks etc. She just shrugged and called my husband eccentric lol. I know she won't say anything as she's used to keeping secrets for others.

I also wonder what happens though, if someone shares information like that yet no one has ever seen the person crossdressed. Isn't it a bit of 'he said, she said'? If either of them did tell anyone else I could always say I was joking, or they misheard me. Seems like the sort of thing you wouldn't share in everyday conversation anyway as not only is it a weird, private topic, but maybe people wouldn't even believe it!

Anyway, my husband has an inkling I've told others going by conversations we've had. He didn't seem phased as he knows I'm more freaked about public knowledge than him so I'm hardly running around telling the postman! I guess if your wife needed to share it, Davina, she just needs to choose the right person and also do what you do here and not make it a big deal. Like I said, I know some stuff about other people that is far worse and I've never once judged them or even really thought about it. Those who make a big deal are not friends.

Extended family...now there's a wildcard. I don't know how that would go if they all found out. Again, if no one sees him dressed, how can they process the information fully? If he leaves a phone full of photos for his father to see, well, I'll let my husband deal with that one. Good luck to him haha.