By: Sindy

Subject: Confronting thoughts

Keeping on with this sharing/acceptance theme, I often wonder what crossdressing boys and men expected and hoped for etc. Did you grow up believing most women liked crossdressers and never knew it would be an issue? Or did you always know it would one day cause you problems with women?

I ask because I'm curious whether you really, truly understand why many women have a problem with crossdressing. I sort of wonder how you can, if you never discussed it with a mother or sister or someone who might have given some early perspective. I assume it's a bit like how we feel about the dressing - we just don't get why or how it feels to have such a need, and it's highly unlikely we had a discussion with anyone about it either. Many of us didn't know heterosexual crossdressing existed before meeting our husbands.

I guess Katie got me thinking whether I truly understand why I don't like it, and the question that came to me was surprisingly not 'why can't I accept this' but rather 'why should I accept this.' That was quite a confronting thought. I always thought I was cross with myself for being open minded with everyone else yet not with my husband. Yet, looking deeper, I realise I have resentment for him expecting me to accept this when all I can think is, why should I?

I know all the rationalisations - he needs to dress. He can't help it. It's harmless. It makes him happy. He'll be stressed if he doesn't, He's still a man under the clothes. And yet, my gut response to these answers is still 'why should I.' Statistically, crossdressing is rare and I know I wouldn't have any trouble finding a husband who doesn't do it. So I suppose there's this lingering resentment that I have to accept and accommodate something that most men don't do. A bit like drawing the short straw - no one wants to be that person!

See, confronting.

Obviously, this situation is entirely avoidable by not marrying women who feel this way. Problem solved. But for the rest of us who find ourselves here, both husbands and wives, I'm curious how much we really understand the feelings of the other side, and whether this might affect how we react and behave. Do you TRULY understand how a wife might feel about your crossdressing, without being clouded with insecurities and bias? And can we wives ever truly understand the crossdressing need, without being clouded with 'why should I'?

Hmmm....