By: Megan Tgirl
Subject:
Hi Davina fab blog and chin up these things happen you will get your opportunity to unwind.
I'm Megan a Tgirl from Wales thought I'd post finally after reading here for over a year and working up to telling my wife about my Crossdressing
Found this in the internet.
An idealized (but not universal) history of the crossdresser can be outlined as follows:
• Each boy has traits that society considers feminine. When a boy displays these traits, they meet with disapproval. The boy represses these feminine traits, which become the anima.
• The boy develops a normal male persona (mask), and enters the world. He goes to school and follows a career. The urge to actualize his repressed female potentials manifests itself in dreams and fantasy.
• At midlife, he experiences unhappiness due to the unrealistic and limiting nature of his masculine persona. At this time he may feel a strong, even overpowering interest in wearing women’s clothes, or of being a woman in fantasy. This urge is natural and healthy: it is because his completeness as a person requires expressing the potentials he has repressed.
• Lacking societal cues that validate or guide his impulses, he experiences confusion. The world says crossdressing is wrong, but his ‘heart’ says it is right. Guilt, shame, moral concerns, and his own overly idealized view of masculinity constrain his crossdressing. He also asks questions like “Am I gay?” and “Should I change my sex?”
• The stage of confusion can last years and decades. The crossdresser may dress often, delve into the culture of crossdressing, or even take female hormones. Or he may remain highly closeted. But the hallmark of this phase is that he remains confused and highly ambivalent, uncertain how to proceed.
• This seems a terminal point for many. However, the theories of Jung and others imply that this is not the proper end point, but merely arrested development.
If the crossdressing urge is really adaptive – a response by the organism to remove barriers that have effectively repressed half of the man’s potentials – we can speculate that further developmental stages are possible:
• The crossdresser recognizes the positive, healing meaning of crossdressing. At this point, crossdressing becomes supported, rather than rejected, by the ego; he may then pursue crossdressing as a constructive activity, now freed from previous moral constraints. But, by the same token, recognition of the positive meaning of the urges also brings an appreciation of sensible limits
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Katie
Hi Sindy
I'll try an answer your points from my own perspective. Really it's the only one I've got and at least you know I'm being honest.
Why wear false boobs and body shapers?
Ok. You're out shopping. You see a really nice dress, check they have the right size and head to the changing room. It looks awful on you. It too big on the top, tight round the waist and just doesn't look right. You're disappointed as the vision you had of you wearing the dress just doesn't fit the reality. You love the dress, everything else is right about, it's the perfect colour for the event you have in mind, so what can you do? Maybe if you could tuck your tummy in a bit more and enhance your breast! Well you have that shape wear at home and hey a couple of 'chicken fillets' will give you the extra oomph for the evening. You buy it, take it home and with a little womanly magic it looks fantastic.
If I put on a dress with my 'male body' it looks awful. It's tight around the waist and a baggy in the boob area. A couple of false boobs and shape wear can change the way I look and the way I feel about the dress. It's nothing that women haven't been doing for ages.
My boobs come from a site selling to women and my shape wear from M&S so no specialist tricks - just what a regular women would use.
It I wear a skirt I need the shape wear to redistribute my belly giving me a waist to sit the skirt on. Without it the skirt is too tight and uncomfortable. I thought that the purpose of shape wear was to redistribute the extra 'muffin top' into nice contours.
I know that it'll make Davina cringe but most days that I dress I do not wear a wig, make up or even shave. I don't need to and cannot justify the time as most of the time I'm meant to be working. So when I look in the mirror I look at the clothes and how they fit. I can ignore the head!
I sometimes think that when a crossdresser says 'comfortable' he means a different thing to how you'd consider using the word. Wearing heels, bra etc is fine to start off with but is does become uncomfortable after a while - so I'm with you ladies on that one. I think that when crossdresser says comfortable he means that he is not at odds with himself - the comfortable in his own body. A transsexual is not comfortable in their own body.
Dressing for sex or not?
Again I can't comment on other people but the whole dressing for sex thing is difficult. It definitely used to be a real turn on and to be honest when I was younger (teens) I was lucky to get a pair of knickers on! Now I can get fully dressed and sit around working for hours without feeling any need. Maybe the feelings it now creates are still to do with the with the endorphins it used to produce but instead of having to result in a sexual act they now produce the de-stress.
So wearing a dress used to give me a 'boner' but now it doesn't. Maybe it's to do with age and sex drive but I know that I don't suffer from erectile disfunction so it's got to be something else.
Slightly off thread but maybe the reason that we want to push the boundaries is to get the extra kick we used to do when we were younger. Too much of a good thing can lead to boredom. But dressing does at least calm the mind.
Gender expression.
If you're a sexist it doesn't matter if you're dressed as a woman or a man you're still going to be a sexist. I don't buy into the fact that dressing suddenly changes someones personality. You don't need to put on a dress to be in touch with your feminine side.
You might feel and look more feminine but it's just not going to suddenly change you from Donald Trump into Mother Theresa.
If somebody is not pulling their weight in the marriage then that's to with with them and not the fact that they are a crossdresser. It does annoy me that some crossdressers seem to use housework as some bargaining tool. 'If you let me dress up then I'll do the housework'. Hey, what's wrong with doing the housework as a man? It's not a 'feminine' thing it's just sharing the chores! I can't think of anything more ridiculous that wearing a shirt and heels to clean the toilet!
I hope in our household that I do my fair share. I cook, clean, look after the kids, do the decorating, fix things, unscrew tight lids and reach high things ;-)
Conclusion
Some crossdressers make up a narrative to justify their dressing to themselves. I don't get being 'in touch with my feminine side'. Things are only deemed 'feminine' because that is how society labels them.
About the only thing that differentiates the sexes is the ability to reproduce. We need to be plumbed the right way to enable that to happen. But I'm quite capable of rearing children - I looked after my two from birth for 2 days a week right through to them starting school., I can cook clean and do all the other things that society says are 'feminine'. I can even put on a pair of tights, strap on a bra, wear make up and walk in heels. It shouldn't make me some weirdo but a caring human being.