No as you'd never know she was trans.. Same as when I was out with Esme I think I looked convincing enough and wed agreed if I needed the loo Esme would escort me and we'd be in loo out wash hands bit of lippy and back to the bar.. I think do it as normal as possible and you need to be as passable as possible. .. But could be a problem if a woman does say hang on you're a man get out and then kicks off about it..

I think the whole toilet thing helps if you're passable then the ladies in the ladies know no different.. ?? If you're just using the toilet, freshening up makeup what's the problem. When we went out in London we agreed if Davina needed a wee Esme would escort me to the ladies toilets

I'd give a similar answer Hannah.. If I could get up every day and think today feels like a Davina day if I could I would if I lived in some parallel universe where that would be acceptable but can't do it. As I've said before it comes and goes in urges for me mainly when stressed and sometimes when over stressed like currently with workload in work I know it would help to dress but would put it off as too busy with work to stop to sort makeup etc then take makeup off etc I'm not gender fluid my male look is very sporty.. And I like that Davina is pure escapism.

I've asked mine about this and he said if he could get up and dress as a woman or a man however he felt each day then he would.

He says he can identify as gender fluid and sometimes like HArry styles present in a dress without the rest makeup etc.

2 years ago i'd have run a mile from this but seems our chats about him dressing and sexuality etc are now normalised.

Hubby from Crossdresser to Genderfluid who'd have guessed, unfortunately our lives dont really allow for that lifestyle but he knows he can dress when he likes and i no longer bat an eyelid.

Hannah (Wife)

This is a great TED talk that explains intersex

Katie x

Day off tomorrow lots to do in the house ahead of a busy rest of the week in work. We will see if I dress or not.

Like the video Davina the discussion is deep and think you're right more than where we're at.

Not sure how i'd handle him being gender fluid. I mean he can dress whenever he wants here but hes high 90 percent male presenting sometimes working from home dressed and our girly nights in or when i see he's stressed i tell him he needs to make time to dress and unwind.

Take it as a hint reading your stress is beyond dressing it isn't so you should dress if you can as it helps doesn't it.

whats a man and whats a woman i agree its the biology of what we're born with but intersexed i don't know about enough.

Bound to have caused offence but know you don't mean to

Emma (Wife)

Correct there is always another definition... Ergo me being told "You're not a proper Tranny" .. Who cares!!

We're in quite a narrow band on the spectrum as crossdressers shunned by all sides and stuck in the pervert and ridicule bracket in the mainstream?

Some here may be "gender fluid".. Here's me on a day off just chilling as a bloke when I could have chilled as Davina.. Don't think I'm gender fluid or I'd have grasped the opportunity to dress when the kids went off to school,

Currently at that stage where the stress of work is greater than crossdressing can cure mixed with other things that need to be done around the house etc .. I'd probably benefit more from crossdressing but recharging my brain with a long weekend off.

I always have Monday if i want to dress.

If I was asked to define a man what would I say?

I had someone ask me this the other day and think I cause upset with my honest answer. We are entitled to an opinion and to use science (Biology / Psysiology) in a definition and comparison to the Animal kingdom and mainstream thought.

This question however I feel is more than we're asking here.. Why do men crossdress? what is a man?

Man born with a penis doesn't have a womb.

Women not born with a penis has a womb and able to give birth,

Intersexed I'd really have to google as have no clue about intersexed people and psysiology.

Or the dictionary

Males - Of or denoting the sex that produces gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilised or inseminated to produce offspring.

Female - Of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilised by male gametes.

Intersexed - General term used for a variety of situations in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't fit the boxes of “female” or “male.

Yes a man can come in all shapes, sizes and colours and sexuality straight, gay or bi sexual and so can a woman, we all come in many varieties some effeminate and some Alpha macho men etc... and some of us use Crossdressing to escape the front we display of Alpha Male Macho men as to keep it up full time is asking for stress.

Somehow crossdressing provides this escapism as part of the pie chart reasons why i keep banging on about.

What actually defines a man? For me biology above does in as simple first basic terms as we can put it.. To go into psycolocigal reasoning is beyond me and beyond this forum.

Who defines these amongst different cultures? They vary but mainstream the majority will go with the science which gives first principals to the definitions of biology as we would with animals in the animal kingdom.

What about trans men?

Biologically born as men.. pop out of their mothers and defined there and then as "It's a boy" or "It's a girl" .. Some say this is wrong but to say it's wrong goes against centuries of how we have defined its a boy and its a girl.

I'm quite happy defining a trans man as a woman once she's had that dramatic change.. Not sure how women thing on this with some not liking female toilets being used and we see problems in athletics also.

One of the reasons I don't cover much about this here is it easily causes offence and I'm 100% sure I've written something that would offend someone up above.

I try to keep to what I know Crossdressing something I've done since i was a boy and have done ever since to some extent.. A small extent if you take the number of days in a year compared to the hours I actually spend crossdressing having limited myself to a few hours and when it is worthwhile to dress fully,.

.

Intersexed that's a whole new ball game for me and one I've no experience with.. If we did have someone intersexed come here for advice I'd be stumped and would have to hope there's someone else here who has some experience and advice to give.

This subject is a big leap to the right of this forum "Why do Men Crossdress" I think if someone goes that step or two to the right then this forum can't answer the questions and it would be a whole new requirement for wives and girlfriends who for the most part here have managed to find acceptance with crossdressing.. a few steps into gender fluid or what i'd call proper trans as a lifestyle and further to sex reassignment surgery and we'd find less wives and girlfriends happy with the situation.

Gender fluid however could be someone who thinks of them-self as a man but have a choice on how they want to present. This is why i posted the video as have had someone on here discuss with me they think they're gender fluid and they showed me this video and asked if i'd post it here for some further discussion to see if anyone else puts their hand up and says I'm gender fluid also,

If i could would I dress more? yes

If I could get up each day and present how i felt like would I? Yes probably

Can I? No as my mainstream life doesn't allow this and society is not ready and accepting for this.

Most of us with manly lives dressing in secret don't have this choice.

Difficult subject

Davina

The problem with labels is that there is always someone who has a different definition.

If I asked you to define a man what would you say? We come in all shapes, sizes and colours. We maybe straight, gay or bi sexual. We may effeminate or macho men. Long hair, short hair etc . What actually defines a man? Is it appearance, characteristic, mannerisms - who defines these amongst different cultures. What about trans men? Are they still men even though they don't have a penis? Then you throw inter sexed people into the mix. They may have a penis and breasts and ovaries!

We all have a 'standard' that we thinks fits the bill. But your standard maybe different to mine so when you start throwing in such terms as gender fluid then you're on a slippery slope to total confusion.

Katie x

You're right Katie We'd probably all like to dress when we get the urge and feel like it.. So yep guess we're gender fluid in that term.. But there's always someone who's more gender fluid who will say we're not proper gender fluid 😂

Hi Davina

To quote wiki 'Gender expression, or gender presentation, is a person's behavior, mannerisms, interests, and appearance that are associated with gender in a particular cultural context, specifically with the categories of femininity or masculinity. This also includes gender roles. These categories rely on stereotypes about gender.'

Gender fluid is really moving between genders. This guy express / presents as female when he feels like it. Very much like you and me although we don't get the option to always present they way we want to because of our circumstances.

To go with his rainbow analogy you go from Dave to Davina and back again which is being gender fluid. Your behaviour, mannerisms, interest and appearance all change when you are Davina.

We also follow gender in a cultural context feminine = skirt, heels, make up etc. and rely on our own stereotypes. I want to look like the women I find attractive.

So I guess we're gender fluid when we can be, we just don't get to opportunity all the time.

Katie x