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Mental Health and Crossdressing

There's a lot in this video which rings true.. No matter how confident and assured I look on the outside I'm not Superman (I'm actually Batman but don't tell anyone)... None of us are perfect although us men like to try to pretend we're perfect and always right and we set up fronts for ourselves on how we want the world to perceive us mine is forthright, honest, sporty, not someone you want to mess with, a perfectionist, professional and I hate to let anyone down it all adds pressure, expectation and stress .. we don't cry, we don't show weakness and we are awful at showing our feelings.. maybe the next generation will be less regimented in all this as i think its in how we were brought up and how we're expected to ask.. Our personal escapism from all this on this forum is Crossdressing... That can add stress and urges in itself.

I'm currently suffering a bit mentally as its all work work work and I've set a bar in my profession which is hard to keep on top of .. peoples expectations etc .. None of them would even have an inkling I Crossdress to overcome the stress of all this .. So watch the video "Tend to want to dress particularly when under a lot of stress and strain" definitely rings true with me and that's so hard to explain to a partner.

6 comments

6 Comments

Davina

Jan 15, 2023

Scanning back through posts and came across this one again and with lack of dressing time which I knew was coming with my wife knowing about me dressing but the kids not knowing and the kids now of an age where they have more freedom of movement dressing time is nil.

Since September and the oldest starting college 5 min walk away I think I dressed the twice in October making excuses not to go out for a drink with workmates when away from home with work - 2 nights in a grotty MK Travelodge room with the view of a car park and an hour the Wednesday before Christmas a stolen hour minimal makeup trying on Esme's Green sequin wrap dress from her Xmas do..

Work stress remains.. Life's a bit ground hog day.. Up, exercise, breakfast, news (thats another source of frustration the misinformation and propaganda we're fed in the news), work 0800-1700 usually at home, dinner, crap TV, bed.. Broken up a few nights with football training.. I know I have SAD.. The seasonal whatever its called dark morning dark night syndrome .. So all in all and have admitted this to Esme this weekend I'm fairly depressed with things currently the mundane flow of life and what has helped in the past "Cross dressing" unavailable.

Its hard to admit and talk about all this I find writing it down easier..

Cross dressing is my escapism and good for my mental health.. Without it life is mundane stuck in a rut.. Becoming Davina is my something different stepping outside the box..

We sort of discussed it today ways how i can dress.. Maybe work from the desk in our bedroom as Davina not on the desk downstairs and hope my daughter doesn't come to see me when home between or when lectures are cancelled and we even for the first time briefly discussed telling our oldeat the truth.. Dad is a Cross dresser and for his mental health he uses it for escapism from his man life..

I have to do something as its driving me a bit bonkers not having this escape..

Family life needs a shake.. More help from the kids keeping the place tidy, everyone nicer to one another, droo some of the teenage attitude, work less hours, drop some national projects and work more local, get fit and lose weight to plan.. Really looking forward to getting nights back sat in the garden..

Still the question how do I find quality time to be Davina for a few hours .. We all need to think about our mental health and for any wivea reading this forget the fears you have about why we dress No1 may be like me we find it beneficial for our mental health, it helps us somehow escape us for a bit and we always return back to the man you married or are in a partnership with.. Still us and a happier us for those few hours of escapism where we can forget the mundane things.

Davina

ally4322022

Jan 15, 2023

Replying to

Whole heartily agree as have been suffering with seasonal affected disorder and not dressing just makes it worse. Most of my work is outside so struggling with so much wet weather.

Currently living with family as rebuilding our house (bought a wreck, only way to get what my family needs). Hence always someone around complete lack of privacy unless spend all day in the bedroom, which just isn't practical.

I have taken to elements of underdressing when I can just to at least feel the material against my skin which has a calming effect. This is most definitely and never been a fetish but just how I see myself, the true me.

I had a lovely walk with my wife earlier and said I believe I am gender fluid and she thankfully understood. We had a laugh as I said to her your my best girly friend to which she replied and your mine. 😜😁 Fingers crossed when we're living in our little family unit again one day I may be able to dress a little more freely.

If anyone else is ever struggling mentally with depression or negative thoughts I'm always happy to chat/message as this forum is a great way to vent.

Suzzanne

Sep 21, 2022

I have a friend who owns a training company and several years ago I participated in the delivery of a trial course on Mental Health Awareness. Back then, MHA was the 'new' big thing and today I am still required to undertake self learning on MHA on an annual basis as part of my employers annual training requirements. Now, I'm not saying I've ever had issues with my MH, as such, but what I can say is that at several points in my career I have been recognisably stressed and had to deal with it. I'm a Cancerian and typically have a hard shell so I never asked for help or anything of that nature. I'd probably speak to someone about it today but I got through these periods and don't feel any the worse for it.

Anyway, over the last few days I have been able to dress for around 3-4 hours each day. That's not a lot really but it has all come at once after a long period where I have not had one opportunity to dress and have, in fact, nearly been caught by one of my colleagues at work when trying on a pair of shoes and a pair of boots on separate occasions. I had to try them on as I needed to check the fit but I also knew I would not get any other opportunities to do that for relatively long periods of time. Lessons learned there I can tell you and nearly getting caught won't happen again.

What these last few days have done for me however, is to make me realize how important the ability to dress is to me and how happy I feel about it when I do. It's definitely part of who I am but I doubt I'll ever be able to 'come out' to my wife no matter what happens. Shame really as I'm quite sure that given the ability to be able to put makeup and a decent wig on I would happily be able to go out on my own in femme mode. I've also been really happy with trying on some of my new dresses and taking a few pics. I usually hate seeing myself in pics and I've posted several on TV Chix and updated my profile page here several times but always disguised my face. Today, that changed, I was far more comfortable with the pics (having taken Davina's advice) and felt really good with how I looked, even without any makeup. I was so pleased I posted my first undisguised pic, all be it without any makeup, to another site.

I guess I'm feeling somewhat elated and empowered at the moment. I'm not sure that the lack of dressing opportunities actually affects my MH in any way but, I'm now sure that I am happy with who I am, I'm much happier with how I look and crossdressing is, and always will be, a part of the whole me.

Davina

Sep 21, 2022

Replying to

I've suffered with my mental health quite a bit but being the alpha male type I hide it. Cross dressing has become that escapism. I may be able to find some other outlet for stress but I know becoming Davina works. Esme says get a punch bag and go some rounds with it to get stress out and frustration out as I think younger stress ebbed out playing rugby or football a bit of aggressive contact sport.. But i still cross dressed when playing competitive sport. We've got half hearted MH briefings in work but they pile on the work and expectation, cut our staffing levels and expect the same reaults heaping more work and stress on people and despite all the we care about you and your work life balance the business does not really. We also have diversity and inclusion and LGBTQ is part of that but no mention of Cross dressing quite a bit on transexualism and a persons right to identify as a woman etc.. But nothing in there about the cross dresser as its not understood .. If I could out myself I could explain the stress and the MH benefits of crossdressing but that's not going to happen. If I ever get caught I will be stating diversity and inclusion so what I dress as a woman it helps me mentally. It must seem weird to a wife or girlfriend .. They put on makeup, do their hair and makeup wear female attire, bras, knickers and tights etc and must think how does this help him unwind? Trust me it works. So there's work MH for me a lot of it brought on by myself pushing myself and getting involved in too many projects.. People expect a high rate of delivery My performance review this year was "exceeded" and rightly so the amount of work I churn out and problems I solve but the upper management downgraded my oerformance to good.. How does that make me feel "If they want just good, I'll give them just good" but not in my nature as I want things to succeed and that's the opposite of some Tory MPs imoression of the British being idlers.. The UK runs on unpaid overtime and stress and many think working that extra few hours to get things done also give a job secutiry but it doesn't.. Then theres.family life and other stresses and responsibilities and all I Need is a few hours once or twice per week as Davina and I can escape it. Prolonged bouts of non opportunity to dress and I can go beyond stressed to depressed and hide that too but telling in my blood pressure so physical health also affected. I'm going to take a chance and dress from home once or twice per month.. Yesterday tho a reminder of college my oldest should have been in college all day and came home around 11 with a friend as the lecturer wasn't in.. It would be easier if the kids knew my secret but would it remain a secret and how would they react.

ally4322022

Sep 21, 2022

Replying to

Hi Suzanne, really pleased to read your mostly positive post as you sound like you are getting a well earned chance to be yourself for a few hours. I can completely sympathise with the stress relief that dressing brings, so long as your not constantly worrying about someone turning up. I really need to work out a way to create some opportunities for myself as barely had a chance to try a few items on this year. I also feel the need to try and get the conversation going with my wife again. She isn't completely closed to me dressing but it's still a bit wierd for her. Let's say she certainly won't bring the topic up although we can sometimes have a bit of banter, so that's positive. I think it is therapeutic for us once we take some control and acceptance of who we are. I've stopped letting myself think I am some kind of freak that should hate themself just for liking dressing as a woman. At the end of the day who really am I hurting? I'm sure like Davina that it actually makes me a kinder softer person so that has to be good. Take care and hope more opportunities come your way.

Cara

May 04, 2022

So very true. What Sophie says in the video relates so much to the reasons I bit the bullet and came out to my partner. Those weeks and months of lockdown, unable to dress and with other unrelated issues to deal with just got to me and fortunately I had someone to talk to about it all. Even more fortunately she was more than accepting of my need to wear women's' clothes.

Apparently my personality completely altered from being tense and snappy and a bit moody to smiling a lot and being generally a much nicer, more caring person.

I totally agree with you @Davina about the way we were brought up. I was certainly never encouraged to share (or even really show) my feelings when I was growing up. It was considered 'sissy-ish' to show emotion, and you just had to show a stiff upper lip and get on with things. Kids these days appear to be a lot more open about their feelings.