By: Sindy
Subject: Second thoughts - Boundaries
Here is the other issue Davina's post brought up - the scenario of the wife wearing men's clothing. In fact, if we were to track her apparent crossdressing story back along the typical path, she would have started by trying on a pair of her father's boxer shorts in the laundry pile, or perhaps a pair of her brother's that he left on his bedroom floor. She'd have stood in front of the mirror admiring herself and even felt all tingly inside.
As a woman, I can tell you this is not only ridiculous, but I'd bet 99% of women's gag reflexes occurred reading this.
We just don't do this stuff. We usually acknowledge and accept the boundaries society says about privacy etc. I haven't read a single story of a transman starting his journey by stealing his father's underwear. This seems an entirely male thing.
And then, as crossdressing men get older, the boundaries seem to become smaller and smaller. Now they can go out in public wearing women's clothing and feel 'tingly'. They can enter women's spaces and surprise the wife and maybe even tell the kids. Why not?!
Yet, logically, is society able to function without boundaries? I'd guess most people would say no. So why then do crossdressers feel entitled to overstep so many of them? And I'm not talking gender boundaries that insist boys and girls act a certain way as I disagree we should have such a thing. I'm talking privacy, where young crossdressing boys sneak other people's underwear without much apparent thought. I'm talking the respect of others by later parading about in public as their 'alter ego', still feeling 'tingly' as so many describe, so that others, by default, are forced to participate. Wives and kids are expected to get over their own inbuilt boundaries and just put up with it. Often, crossdressers will come out to everyone and suddenly a little boy's fantasy life has been inflicted on society at large.
So what gives? And I know you and Katie don't do half this stuff I've written here, but many do. So do crossdressers willingly ignore these obvious boundaries, or don't they realize they are there in the first place?
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Second thoughts - Boundaries
Exactly! Look at those dandy men of yesteryear, and the men wearing knickerbockers and heels and curly wigs and neck ruffles - they were the height of masculinity! Not sure why we changed tack and decided to ignore what is probably a very innate need for men to show off to a mate. Now men use their cars and wallets. I guess it's the same thing...crossdressers who are masculine identified must be the last of the peacock men!
And that's an intriguing thought - what if I HAD to dress plain and frumpy with no choice (as men currently have it). Wow, just made me realize how utterly unfair it is that you don't have any choice. Being on the girl side I don't think much about pretty clothes etc as I know they're there if needed. But you don't have that option unless you do what you do now. Thanks for the headspin Katie - I suddenly feel infuriated that anyone could take away my choice like that, and you're probably right, if I couldn't wear it I'd probably spend all day thinking about those damn pretty dresses.
I can't believe I never really considered this issue properly before. It really is very unfair. Why is it like this for crying out loud? Why did men lose all the ruffles and pretty clothing options?