By: Katie
Subject: Tolerance, acceptance and understanding
I recently read an article (I do have a life outside of reading articles about crossdressing) in which the author expressed a desire that he is not just tolerated but accepted. It was interesting because quite often we talk about living in a 'tolerant society' and there is the common 'zero tolerance policy' but what does it actually mean to be tolerant v accepting?
In my opinion tolerance is the first step. Tolerance is basically putting up with something you might not like, it's "I can live with it but I might not agree with it "scenario.
Acceptance is the next step, "I can live with it OK". I think that you can tolerate something without accepting it but you can't accept something without tolerating it.
Understanding bring another concept into the equation. I believe that you can understand something without being tolerant or accepting. Equally you can tolerate or accept something without understanding i.e. crossdressing.
So my question is how do you move from tolerance to acceptance without understanding?
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tolerance, acceptance and understanding
I get what you're saying Sindy
My wife acceptance has got to this point as I've kept on about it through wanting to reassure her and for her to see the fun in crossdressing not wanting her to worry about it.
Initially she said ok you dress I don't want to know don't want to see it like it doesn't happen and that grew as it was like living a lie I had to talk about it I didn't want to hide it from her and we set several rules to now having the odd (odd lol) girls night in and I work from home or in a hotel dressed and she knows sees and is ok with it..
Now I mentioned perhaps the feeling of wanting to go out dressed somewhere miles from home for some unknown reason and she said ok do it but I don't need to know about it simple right just go out don't tell her and have this secret life... NO! I said I want you to know she said ok go out then tell me you've done it um no id prefer you to know if I'm gonna do it and would prefer youre there.
I later apologised for moving the boundaries exponentially again but she said what are you apologising for..
her initial thought tho was do it an I don't need to know about it which I wasn't comfortable with.