Recently, I posted a link to my blog and forum in a Reddit group intended for wives and girlfriends of crossdressers. I did so with good intentions—hoping to offer support, insight, and maybe a little reassurance to women navigating something that can feel overwhelming, confusing, even heartbreaking at first.

One of the responses I received was negative, pointing out that the subreddit wasn’t meant for crossdressers themselves, but for the partners. I understand that instinct. I know these spaces often serve as safe zones for people trying to process complex emotions, and I respect that completely.

But I want to explain why I posted, and why I think voices like mine can be part of the healing process.

My blog isn’t about defending crossdressing or pushing an agenda. It’s a personal story—my story. And in many ways, it’s our story: mine and my wife’s. It traces how I went from secretly wearing lingerie as a teenager, to becoming "Davina" (a name I use between me and my wife codeword and to the world my tgirl name or label) to opening up to my wife, and to eventually running a blog and a forum that have helped hundreds of crossdressers and their partners understand themselves and each other better.

I’m not trying to speak over anyone. I’m trying to help. Because I know what it’s like to be the husband hiding this part of himself. I know the guilt, the fear, the shame. I also know what it feels like to finally be seen—and to be accepted. And I know what an emotional earthquake it can be for a wife or girlfriend who never expected the man she loves to tell her he crossdresses.

That’s why I created my blog and the “Why Do Men Crossdress” forum: to shine some light on a subject that’s so often kept in the dark. To explain that this isn’t the end of the world. That it doesn’t mean your partner wants to become a woman. That it doesn’t mean your relationship is over. That it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or confused. And that many couples do find a way forward—often stronger and more open than before.

If sharing a link to my writing can help even one woman better understand what her partner is going through, and what she’s going through too, then I think it’s worth it.

Because this isn’t just about men in dresses. It’s about identity, communication, honesty, and love.

And I promise—I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought it was harmful to wives, girlfriends, or relationships. Quite the opposite. I’m doing it because I want to help.

Would you like to tweak or personalize this further before posting?

Davina