One of the practical (and sometimes slightly nerve-wracking) questions for any crossdresser going out en femme is: "What do I do when I need the toilet?"

I've been asked my opinion on this so here's a quick post..

It’s something many of us think about long before we even leave the hotel if we're going out dressed

Here’s the simple truth: If you're presenting fully as a woman and you can pass as a woman or carry / convince yourself and others your a woman — you should use the women's toilet.

When you're fully dressed — makeup, hair, outfit, and body language aligned — that's what people around you naturally expect.

You’re blending in, living your feminine side confidently, and the women’s toilet is where you belong in that moment.

If you're only partially presenting (say, androgynous clothes or just light makeup), or if you don't pass, or obviously a man in a dress it's a lot trickier.

In that case, depending on your appearance and comfort, the men's restroom might feel safer — or better yet, a single-occupancy or gender-neutral toilet if one is available.

When using the women's restroom:

• Be polite and discreet.

• Go in, do what you need to do, wash your hands, and leave.

• No lingering, no unnecessary conversations (unless someone speaks to you casually).

• Keep your body language soft and natural — simply be a woman among women.

  
  

It’s about respect, blending, and minimizing any reason for discomfort — just like any other woman would do.

Confidence really is key.

If you act like you belong there (because you do in that moment), most people won't even glance twice. It's often our own nerves that make it feel scarier than it is.

When I was first out as Davina, I was nervous too. But honestly? People are mostly too busy with their own lives to notice you. The more you trust yourself, the more natural it feels.

And if you ever spot a gender-neutral option, that's a great choice too — completely no-pressure, no-worry.

Quick Tips for Toilets

• Dress the part: Fully presenting as female? Use the women's restroom.

• Stay calm and confident: If you walk in naturally, most people won’t even notice you.

• Be quick and discreet: Do what you need, wash your hands, smile politely if needed, and leave.

• Use gender-neutral toilets if available: A great no-stress option when you're unsure.

• Don’t linger: Treat it like a normal part of your day — because it is!

• Trust yourself: You deserve to be out and living your truth.

• If in doubt, scout ahead: Pick places you know are crossdresser-friendly or bigger venues with private stalls.

Hope this helps? What does everyone else think? including wives?

Davina