Another from crossdressingclub. Coming out as a crossdresser is a deeply personal and courageous journey of self-discovery and acceptance. It involves revealing an intimate aspect of one's identity to loved ones and the world. This article delves into the experience of coming out as a crossdresser, the challenges faced, and the potential rewards of embracing one's true self. Self-Understanding and Acceptance: Coming to terms with one's identity as a crossdresser is a pivotal step in the coming-out process. It requires self-reflection, self-acceptance, and an acknowledgment of the desire for self-expression through gender variance. Understanding the significance of crossdressing in one's life is essential before embarking on the journey of coming out. Personal Empowerment: Coming out as a crossdresser is an act of personal empowerment, as it allows individuals to embrace their authentic selves and live their lives more fully. It liberates them from the confines of societal expectations and norms, fostering a sense of self-confidence and personal fulfillment. Selecting Trusted Allies: Choosing whom to come out to is a crucial decision. It is advisable to start with individuals who are known for their open-mindedness, acceptance, and support. These individuals can provide an essential support system during the coming-out process. Education and Awareness: In order to ease the coming-out process, it is important to educate oneself about crossdressing and gender variance. Understanding the terminology, history, and experiences of other crossdressers can help articulate one's own journey and address potential questions or misconceptions from others. Open and Honest Communication: Coming out as a crossdresser requires open and honest communication with friends, family, and loved ones. Expressing genuine emotions, discussing personal experiences, and patiently explaining the importance of crossdressing can help others understand and appreciate this aspect of one's identity. Managing Reactions: It is essential to be prepared for a range of reactions when coming out as a crossdresser. While some individuals may respond with acceptance, support, and love, others may struggle with understanding or have negative reactions due to their backward and narrow-minded societal biases and preconceptions. Patience, empathy, and education can help navigate these challenging reactions. Establishing Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial during the coming-out process. Communicate your needs, expectations, and comfort levels with others. This will enable healthier and more positive interactions while fostering an environment of respect and understanding. Seeking Professional Support: The journey of coming out as a crossdresser can be emotionally challenging. For those who may feel, seeking support from mental health professionals or joining support groups can provide a safe space to process emotions, share experiences, and gain additional guidance on navigating the coming-out process. Conclusion: Coming out as a crossdresser is a transformative journey that allows individuals to embrace their true selves, live authentically, and foster greater self-acceptance. While it may come with its own set of challenges, the potential rewards, such as improved self-confidence, stronger relationships, and a sense of fulfillment, make it a truly liberating experience. By educating ourselves, fostering open communication, and surrounding ourselves with supportive allies, we can create a world that not only accepts but celebrates the diverse expressions of gender identity.

Another from Crossdressing club. While it is important to say that not all crossdressers create alter egos, and the motivations and experiences of individuals can vary greatly, Crossdresser alter egos can offer a sense of freedom and self-expression that may be limited in everyday life. By adopting an alter ego, individuals can fully embrace and embody their preferred gender presentation, allowing for a departure from societal expectations and the opportunity to explore personal style and identity. This act of self-expression can promote self-confidence and self-acceptance. For some crossdressers, alter egos provide an avenue to explore different aspects of their gender identity. By creating a separate persona, individuals can tap into facets of their personality or gender expression that may not be socially accepted or expected in their everyday lives. Alter egos can help them better understand and navigate their own gender identity and presentation. Alter egos act as a source of psychological and emotional support for crossdressers, providing a safe space to express and embrace their authentic selves. For many, this sense of validation and acceptance can be empowering and therapeutic, helping to build self-esteem and alleviate gender-related anxieties. Creating and developing alter egos can be seen as a creative endeavor. Crossdressers often invest time and effort into crafting unique identities, complete with names, personal styles, and even backstories. This creative process allows them to fully engage their imagination and express their artistic flair. Alter egos can facilitate interaction with other crossdressers and members of the LGBTQ+ community, both online and in person. By adopting an alter ego, individuals gain access to communities and support networks that foster understanding, acceptance, and a sense of belonging. These connections provide opportunities for sharing experiences, advice, and solidarity. Crossdresser alter egos play a significant role in the lives of individuals who explore the world of crossdressing. They enable self-expression, facilitate the exploration of gender identity, provide emotional support, act as a creative outlet, and foster connections within communities. It's vital to recognize that the motivations and experiences of crossdressers may vary, and the development of alter egos is a personal journey. As society continues to evolve and embrace a broader spectrum of gender expression, understanding and acceptance of those who embrace alter egos will help create a more inclusive and diverse world. Do you have an alter ego and if so, tell us about yours in the comments section below

Another taken from the Crossdressing club blog Crossdressing has long been a source of fascination and confusion for many people. It is a phenomenon that has been around since antiquity, and is still practiced today by people across the world. But what are the benefits of crossdressing? One of the main benefits of crossdressing is freedom of expression. For many people, wearing the clothing of the opposite gender can be liberating and empowering. It gives them the opportunity to express aspects of their identity that may not be accepted or accepted in their everyday lives. By dressing in clothing of the opposite gender, people can explore their authentic selves and find a degree of freedom that may not be available to them in other areas of their lives. Crossdressing can also be a great way to explore and express gender roles. By wearing clothing traditionally associated with the opposite gender, people can challenge traditional gender norms and explore different aspects of gender. This can help people better understand and appreciate the diversity of gender identities and expressions. Crossdressing can also be beneficial for those who have gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder. By dressing as the gender they identify with, they can experience a greater sense of comfort, well-being, and acceptance. This can be especially important for those who are transitioning or exploring their gender identity. Finally, crossdressing can be a great way to have fun. It gives people the chance to try out different looks and styles, express their creativity, and make a statement. Whether it’s for a costume party, a night out on the town, or just for the fun of it, crossdressing can be a great way to have a good time. All in all, crossdressing can be a great way to express oneself, explore gender roles, and even improve mental health. While it may not be for everyone, it can be a great

I've taken this from another blog "Club Crossdressing" Crossdressing is often thought of only in terms of clothing and appearance. But beneath the surface, there’s a fascinating world of psychology and emotion that makes crossdressing not only enjoyable, but profoundly healing and empowering. Escaping Stress Through Transformation One of the strongest psychological benefits of crossdressing is the sense of escape. For many, slipping into a dress, heels, or makeup creates a complete shift in mindset. Psychologists call this a form of role release — the ability to let go of one version of yourself to embrace another. If you’ve ever read about the benefits of crossdressing, you’ll know that stress relief is one of the most powerful. Boosting Confidence and Emotional Balance Crossdressing often brings an incredible surge of confidence. Many even build alter egos to step fully into this confidence and find emotional balance. Exploring Identity Without Pressure Crossdressing allows people to play with gender expression without needing to lock into rigid definitions. For some, it can even be the first step toward coming out as a crossdresser. The “Flow State” of Dressing Have you ever lost track of time while applying makeup, styling a wig, or perfecting an outfit? That’s called flow — a psychological state where you’re so focused and engaged that the outside world disappears. Why Community Matters The joy of crossdressing becomes even greater when shared with others who understand. That’s why spaces like ClubCrossDressing can be life-changing. For many, it even opens doors to meeting others on line who share similar passions. Final Thoughts: Crossdressing feels good because it frees the mind, lifts confidence, and opens the door to self-discovery. It’s more than just clothing — it’s psychology, empowerment, and freedom wrapped into one

https://cdtra007.wixsite.com/mysite/blog I'm more or less leaving this site to its members to now spark debate .. I'm putting my thoughts more into my personal blog 'Why I Crossdress' linked above.. I'll still monitor and contribute here .. There are 100s posts on why we cross dress but don't think I can come up with much more for the forum.. Lots on my why I cross dress blog which may help if anyone's interested .. My thoughts and personal ramblings about "Davina" my wife and others I communicate with regularly and maybe some advice and support too.. Feel free to post here and keep the forum going.. It a sometimes nice to see older posts commented on and revitalised. Davina

https://cdtra007.wixsite.com/mysite/post/reply-from-a-partner-what-i-m-afraid-to-say-out-loud This was emailed to me and I was given permission to post on my blog. Worth sharing here also a wife's fears about Crossdressing. Davina

Hey, join me at "Why I Crossdress" on the Spaces by Wix app to read "Digital Davina - Crossdreasing through video games - How common?" and more posts on the go. Join with this link: https://www.mobileapp.app/to/MszyW6V?ref=2_so. Got the app? Use the invite code: IGOQUX

Being a crossdresser can sometimes feel like living a double life—one that’s rich with emotion, expression, and identity, yet kept carefully hidden away. Even in a world with online communities, forums, and blogs like mine, where connection is just a click away, it can still feel surprisingly lonely. Sometimes you meet another t-girl and have a great chat. You share stories—how you first dressed, how far you’ve come, whether you’ve told your partner or are still carrying that secret alone. You might even swap advice, trade tips, or just have a laugh about makeup mishaps or wardrobe wins. There are moments of genuine connection, and they matter. But often, those conversations can feel fleeting. We log off, and that part of ourselves goes back in the box. We go back to pretending. Because the truth is, crossdressing is still taboo in many circles. We don’t know how someone will react if we open up. Will they be understanding, curious, confused—or will they turn away? Some of us have seen relationships falter or end because of this side of ourselves. It’s heartbreaking and leaves many scared to ever bring it up again. So we keep it to ourselves. But we’re not the only ones carrying the weight of secrecy. Our partners—those we’ve told—often shoulder it with us. Wives and girlfriends who’ve come to accept or try to understand our crossdressing can feel just as alone. Who can they talk to? It’s not exactly an easy topic to raise over coffee with a friend. They may fear being judged, misunderstood, or exposing something we’ve worked hard to keep private. That isolation is very real. That’s why it’s so valuable when wives and partners chime into our conversations, offer their point of view, or even start forming their own support networks. Hearing a woman say, “I get it, I’ve been there,” can mean the world to another partner silently struggling to make sense of things. It’s healing for all of us when we talk. When we’re honest. When we listen without judgement. Crossdressers need to talk to other crossdressers. Wives need to talk to other wives. And both need to be able to talk to each other—because it’s only through talking that we take down the walls of secrecy and fear. We don’t always have the answers, but we do have stories, and those stories matter. They’re lifelines in what can otherwise be a lonely sea. So let’s keep the conversation going—whether it’s in forums, messages, blogs, or quiet chats over a walk. Let’s make it less lonely, for all of us. This Forum is here for everyone to add their thoughts start a post, connect, comment chat.. Support one another ❤ Davina

Over the years, I’ve spoken to countless crossdressers and partners. One thing that stands out is how varied our experiences are. For some, crossdressing begins as a hobby—a playful escape, a bit of fun with fabrics and fantasy. For others, it becomes something deeper: a need. It offers peace, relief, or a way to process emotions. And for a few, it forms part of a core identity, almost like meeting your real self in the mirror. I personally find it shifts over time. What began as a secret thrill evolved into a sanctuary—a place I feel grounded. So… where do you fit? Has it changed for you? Is it fixed or fluid?

When a husband comes out as a crossdresser, it’s not only a personal revelation—it’s a relationship shift.  While he may be relieved to finally share this hidden part of himself, his wife is often left facing a whirlwind of emotions: confusion, grief, curiosity, even fear. It’s a lot to process. In another blog I explored what crossdressers need from their partners.  Now, it’s time to flip the lens and look at what wives may need when us husbands crossdress—because their journey is just as important. I’ve chatted to lots of wives including my own and formed the following opinions.. Any wives reading tell me if I’m right or wrong.. 1. Time and Space to ProcessMany wives don’t get the luxury of gradual self-discovery the way their husbands did.  For my wife it was a sudden chock one night. I.e. Often, they learn about crossdressing all at once—and are expected to instantly understand.  But they need time to reflect, to ask questions, and to sit with the emotional impact.  They may feel shocked, grieve the man they thought they knew, or wonder what this means for the future. Patience is key. Crossdressers need to allow their partners to move at their own pace. 2. Honesty and Transparency (Not Overload)Wives often say, “I just wish he’d told me sooner.” What they crave is honesty—not just about the crossdressing itself, but about how long it’s been going on, how often it happens, and what it means.  With this i’m glad i told my wife everything back to the 6 year old in tights being batman and the first feel of Nylon on my legs and didn't say you know you asked to dress me as a woman thats when it started which would have been a lie - but it did change the trajectory of Davina and my place on the Trans spectrum shifted as a result. That said, dumping years of pent-up emotion in one conversation was overwhelming for my wife. The key is gentle, ongoing honesty—opening the door without flooding the room. 3. Reassurance of Love and AttractionCrossdressing can shake a wife’s sense of being desired.  She might wonder: Am I still enough? Am I being replaced? Her husband might look and act differently when dressed—perhaps more feminine than she’s comfortable with.  I worried about this going out in public with my wife i had to be ultra fem acting etc would she freak at how i walked differently or just be glad i was trying to fit in and be unnoticed when out in London. I feel She needs to be reminded, again and again, that she is still loved, wanted, and me crossdressing isn’t a threat.. For many women, the deeper fear isn’t about the clothes—it’s about losing the emotional and romantic connection. 4. A Voice in the JourneyToo often, wives feel like they’ve been given a fait accompli. “This is who I am—deal with it.”  To an extent sometimes in frustration I’ve thought this when a chat hasn’t gone so well or if shes upset me about something in some way and i reflect on what I may be giving up or could have done or could have dressed to escape things.. I sometimes think deal with it so what I’m a crossdresser.. That however probably shuts down trust.  Instead, wives need to feel they have a voice: that their preferences, discomforts, and boundaries will be respected.  If she needs time before seeing her husband dressed, or wants to set limits around certain things, that deserves open discussion—not dismissal. It can always be renegotiated in the future as you talk more and become more comfortable. In a healthy relationship, crossdressing becomes something shared, not imposed. 5. Support From Others (Not Just You)Just as crossdressers need community, wives benefit from speaking to other women in similar situations.  I hope my wife will do this one day. Whether through forums, blogs, or personal friendships, being able to say “this is hard” to someone who gets it is invaluable.  If possible, help her find those spaces, or at least acknowledge that she has a right to her own support system—not every conversation needs to happen with you. 6. A Way to Reconnect With Her PartnerShe may feel like she’s sharing her husband with another woman—literally. It can help to carve out space for “just us” time, where she feels like she has her man back.  Whether that’s physical intimacy, shared activities, or small rituals that reaffirm the relationship, it’s not about erasing the feminine side—it’s about not losing the partnership that came before it. Wives of crossdressers are often asked to take huge emotional steps with little warning. They deserve compassion, patience, and space to voice their own needs.  Supporting them is not just about helping them tolerate crossdressing—it’s about helping them feel safe, seen, and secure in the relationship. I do hope I’m making sense Davina

Coming out as a crossdresser to your partner can feel like one of the scariest and most vulnerable steps you’ll ever take.  For many of us, crossdressing is not just about clothing—it’s about identity, expression, peace of mind, and emotional balance. But just as vital as expressing this side of ourselves is feeling understood and accepted by the people we love most. In this post, I try to explore and express what many crossdressers truly need from their partners—not just in words, but in emotional presence, openness, and curiosity. 1. A Safe Space to Be HonestOne of the most profound needs is to feel like we can be honest—without fear of ridicule or rejection.  Hiding this side of ourselves for years (even decades) often leads to shame or secrecy and it can be really lonely too.  2. Curiosity Instead of JudgmentNot every wife or partner will immediately understand what crossdressing means—or why it’s needed. That’s okay.  What matters is a willingness to ask questions, listen to answers, and stay curious.  I.e. “Help me help you to somehow understand what this means for me and for you”  3. Reassurance and AffirmationJust because we present as feminine at times doesn’t mean we stop loving our wives or partners. It doesn’t mean we change who we are. Many crossdressers fear that their partner will feel replaced or unwanted.  We need to actively give reassurance—and hope for some in return too. 4. Emotional Presence, Not PerfectionIt’s okay for a partner to be confused, even uncomfortable at times.  What we crave most is not instant acceptance, but emotional presence. “I’m not sure how I feel, but I’m still here” can mean the world. 5. Moments of Shared Joy (If They’re Open to It)If and when a partner is open to it, shared moments—watching a movie while dressed, helping with makeup, or shopping together—can build intimacy.  They don’t have to happen often, but even little steps like joking about shoes or sharing perfume choices help reduce the emotional distance. Being a crossdresser isn’t something we chose—it’s something we discovered, and for many of us, it’s become something we enjoy and fall back on to mentally escape.  Supportive partners don’t need to understand everything, but they do need to be open to walking the journey with us, even with a few wobbles. The main thing is when bot you or your wife need to talk don’t bottle it up talk - I’m a fine one giving this advice but sometimes find it hard myself to talk about I’ve not got it all sussed but hope in these blogs others think hmmm he’s onto something.. Stay tuned as I’m having brain waves .. Davina

Recently, I posted a link to my blog and forum in a Reddit group intended for wives and girlfriends of crossdressers. I did so with good intentions—hoping to offer support, insight, and maybe a little reassurance to women navigating something that can feel overwhelming, confusing, even heartbreaking at first. One of the responses I received was negative, pointing out that the subreddit wasn’t meant for crossdressers themselves, but for the partners. I understand that instinct. I know these spaces often serve as safe zones for people trying to process complex emotions, and I respect that completely. But I want to explain why I posted, and why I think voices like mine can be part of the healing process. My blog isn’t about defending crossdressing or pushing an agenda. It’s a personal story—my story. And in many ways, it’s our story: mine and my wife’s. It traces how I went from secretly wearing lingerie as a teenager, to becoming "Davina" (a name I use between me and my wife codeword and to the world my tgirl name or label) to opening up to my wife, and to eventually running a blog and a forum that have helped hundreds of crossdressers and their partners understand themselves and each other better. I’m not trying to speak over anyone. I’m trying to help. Because I know what it’s like to be the husband hiding this part of himself. I know the guilt, the fear, the shame. I also know what it feels like to finally be seen—and to be accepted. And I know what an emotional earthquake it can be for a wife or girlfriend who never expected the man she loves to tell her he crossdresses. That’s why I created my blog and the “Why Do Men Crossdress” forum: to shine some light on a subject that’s so often kept in the dark. To explain that this isn’t the end of the world. That it doesn’t mean your partner wants to become a woman. That it doesn’t mean your relationship is over. That it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or confused. And that many couples do find a way forward—often stronger and more open than before. If sharing a link to my writing can help even one woman better understand what her partner is going through, and what she’s going through too, then I think it’s worth it. Because this isn’t just about men in dresses. It’s about identity, communication, honesty, and love. And I promise—I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought it was harmful to wives, girlfriends, or relationships. Quite the opposite. I’m doing it because I want to help. Would you like to tweak or personalize this further before posting? Davina

One of the practical (and sometimes slightly nerve-wracking) questions for any crossdresser going out en femme is: "What do I do when I need the toilet?" I've been asked my opinion on this so here's a quick post.. It’s something many of us think about long before we even leave the hotel if we're going out dressed Here’s the simple truth: If you're presenting fully as a woman and you can pass as a woman or carry / convince yourself and others your a woman — you should use the women's toilet. When you're fully dressed — makeup, hair, outfit, and body language aligned — that's what people around you naturally expect. You’re blending in, living your feminine side confidently, and the women’s toilet is where you belong in that moment. If you're only partially presenting (say, androgynous clothes or just light makeup), or if you don't pass, or obviously a man in a dress it's a lot trickier. In that case, depending on your appearance and comfort, the men's restroom might feel safer — or better yet, a single-occupancy or gender-neutral toilet if one is available. When using the women's restroom: • Be polite and discreet. • Go in, do what you need to do, wash your hands, and leave. • No lingering, no unnecessary conversations (unless someone speaks to you casually). • Keep your body language soft and natural — simply be a woman among women. It’s about respect, blending, and minimizing any reason for discomfort — just like any other woman would do. Confidence really is key. If you act like you belong there (because you do in that moment), most people won't even glance twice. It's often our own nerves that make it feel scarier than it is. When I was first out as Davina, I was nervous too. But honestly? People are mostly too busy with their own lives to notice you. The more you trust yourself, the more natural it feels. And if you ever spot a gender-neutral option, that's a great choice too — completely no-pressure, no-worry. Quick Tips for Toilets • Dress the part: Fully presenting as female? Use the women's restroom. • Stay calm and confident: If you walk in naturally, most people won’t even notice you. • Be quick and discreet: Do what you need, wash your hands, smile politely if needed, and leave. • Use gender-neutral toilets if available: A great no-stress option when you're unsure. • Don’t linger: Treat it like a normal part of your day — because it is! • Trust yourself: You deserve to be out and living your truth. • If in doubt, scout ahead: Pick places you know are crossdresser-friendly or bigger venues with private stalls. Hope this helps? What does everyone else think? including wives? Davina

’ve often wondered how different the world might feel for us crossdressers if more celebrities or sports stars openly admitted they enjoy wearing women’s clothes. I don’t mean as a publicity stunt or stage costume—but genuinely, in their own time, just like so many of us do. Take someone like Harry Styles—massively successful, stylish, and unafraid to blur the fashion lines. He’s been photographed in dresses, lace, and pearls. It’s bold and great to see… but it always feels more like an artistic statement than a personal truth. And that’s fine. But imagine the impact if he, or someone else of his stature, said outright: “Yeah, I crossdress. I wear women’s clothes because I enjoy how they make me feel.” That would make waves. And what about in sports? Footballers, rugby players, cricketers (I played all those sports and crossdressed after playing those sports sometimes so it figures some pro sportsmen must do it too)—the very epitome of "manly men." What if one of them came forward and said, “When I’m not on the pitch, I love slipping into something soft and feminine. I’m still the same man, just a bit more rounded than society expects.” It would turn heads, sure, but it would also help normalize something so many of us have kept hidden for years. I’m not saying it’s easy. There’s massive pressure on public figures to maintain a certain image. But visibility matters. For many of us, crossdressing started young and in secret. I never imagined there were others like me until I discovered online forums and blogs. The loneliness, the guilt—it was all part of it, until I realized I wasn’t alone. Imagine if that reassurance could come earlier—just from seeing someone familiar and admired talk openly about it. It’s not about being famous. It’s about using visibility to break down shame and confusion. I’ve had messages from so many t-girls—and their partners—saying my blog helped them feel normal. That’s all most of us want. To feel normal. So maybe one day, a star striker or Oscar winner will open up about their own secret heels and dresses. And when they do, I hope the world listens—not with ridicule, but with understanding. Because crossdressing isn’t a joke. It’s not a kink. It’s a deeply personal expression that deserves the same respect as any other. Until then, I’ll keep writing, sharing, and helping others know they’re not alone. And maybe—just maybe—someone out there will be the first to take that bold step into the spotlight, heels and all. Davina

Hi everyone, Some of you have known me through this forum for years now—from when Why Do Men Crossdress first launched back in 2017. It’s been incredible seeing this space grow into a supportive, understanding community for crossdressers and their partners. I’ve had countless messages from t-girls and wives alike, and it means the world to know this forum has helped people come to terms with something that can be so confusing and isolating. But recently, I’ve felt the need to go a bit more personal again. I’ve started a new blog: Why I crossdress It’s more intimate—more about my journey as Davina. A place to put my thoughts down again like I did in the early days. I talk honestly about the emotions, the reasons I dress, the balance with family life, and everything from lingerie to identity. It’s not just about makeup and heels—it’s about why this part of me matters, how I navigate it, and what it’s taught me about myself. If you’ve ever read something on this forum and thought “That’s me too,” I think you’ll find something in the blog you relate to. And if your partner’s ever asked, “Why do you do this?”—maybe sharing a post or two from my blog might help. Here’s what you’ll find on the blog: • My honest reasons for crossdressing (with a pie chart to explain it!) • Reflections on the emotional side of dressing • Discussions about family, relationships, and finding balance • A bit of fun with my favourite looks and styles • Plans and dreams for Davina’s future I’m still posting on the forum and answering messages, and I’d love your feedback or suggestions. If it helps even one more person feel a little less alone or gives a wife a bit more understanding—then it’s worth every word. Thanks for reading and for all your support here over the years. Davina Visit the blog here and if you like it sign up https://cdtra007.wixsite.com/mysite/blog

This one’s not really for the t-girls—it’s for the women who love them. I'd have loved for my wife to have written this but this is me writing from our experiance and my wifes thoughts and feelings on being married to a crossdresser.. I'm adding it here as I know a lot of wives come straight here and i'm treading on toes as this part of the forum is for wives and partners to reflect but please hear me out and read on. This is to the wives, the girlfriends, the partners. The ones who were never expecting this to be part of their story, and now find themselves navigating a new chapter they didn’t write. If you’ve found out your husband crossdresses—or he’s just told you—first, breathe. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Confusion. Shock. Sadness. Even fear. You’re not alone. You’re not wrong. This isn’t something you had a say in, and it might feel like the man you love has suddenly shown you a side you didn’t know existed. My wife has walked this road. She’s asked the hard questions. She’s had the sleepless nights. She’s worried what it means for our marriage, for our future, for our family. She’s feared I might want to be a woman full-time. She’s wondered what people would think of her as the wife of a man who sometimes looks like a woman. She’s worried about work, about parents, about friends. And deep down, she’s wondered about my sexuality—“Am I really the only one he’s interested in?” Here’s what I can say from my side, and what she’s come to learn too: I’m still the same person. Crossdressing didn’t erase my love for her. It didn’t mean I was suddenly less of a man or less committed. It didn’t mean I wanted to transition or live full-time as Davina. It just meant I had another part of me that needed expression—one I’d hidden for too long. For my wife, the journey to acceptance hasn’t been instant. And that’s okay. It’s taken time, conversation, patience, and honesty. We’ve made space for her feelings and her pace. She needed to ask the same questions more than once—and I needed to answer them without frustration. I’ve reassured her again and again:Yes, I’m straight. No, I’m not looking for someone else. No, I’m not going to spring a life-altering change on you.Yes, I still want you.Yes, I’m still me. She’s learned that Davina isn’t a stranger who threatens our marriage—but a side of me that helps me feel whole. A way to unwind. To express. To escape stress. To feel peace. Sometimes she even says Davina’s the softer, calmer, more patient version of me. If you’re reading this as a partner, know this: You’re allowed to have boundaries. You’re allowed to feel unsure. You’re allowed to take your time. But also know this: you’re not alone. There are other wives out there who’ve faced this—and found ways not just to cope, but to connect. So maybe the best thing you can do—when you’re ready—is talk. To your partner. To other women in the same boat. To yourself, with honesty and compassion. And remember: your feelings matter just as much as his. Love is never one-sided. It’s not about blind acceptance—it’s about mutual understanding. And with time, with trust, and with tenderness, it’s possible to navigate this together. Davina

One of the biggest decisions any crossdresser faces is whether—or when—to tell their partner that they crossdress. I’ve been there. I know the fear. The "what ifs" can be deafening and i came out by mistake so the what if's were immediate and my wifes initial questions damning, her tears and her fears unbearable.. • What if she thinks I’m gay? • What if she leaves me? • What if she tells someone? • What if this ruins everything? But I also know what it’s like to hold that secret in. To carry it silently for years. To feel the weight of hiding part of who you are. And I know how hard it can be to stay honest even after you’ve opened up—because that’s when the real work begins. For those considering coming out… There’s no perfect time. No magic moment. But if it’s something that weighs on you, that’s a sign in itself. Start small. Open a dialogue about gender, identity, or even your curiosity around certain clothing or styles. Gauge her reaction. Then share more. Let her ask questions. Don’t overwhelm her with everything at once. You’ve lived with this for years—she’s just hearing it for the first time. Be prepared. For shock. For fear. For silence. (Silence can be the worst).. It doesn’t mean she’s rejecting you—it means she’s processing something big. Her world might suddenly feel like it’s shifting. That’s normal. What matters is what comes next: reassurance, honesty, space, and patience. Tell her what this doesn’t mean. That you’re still you. That you’re still her partner. That you’re not planning to transition or come out to the world (unless that’s your path, in which case honesty is still key). That this isn’t about replacing her—it’s about expressing something within yourself. If you’ve already come out… The conversation shouldn’t stop there. My own journey with my wife has been one of constant communication. I still reassure her. I still listen when she’s afraid—about what others might think, how our families would react, what it means for our relationship. I respect her boundaries. And I share things at a pace that keeps us both feeling safe. One thing I’ve learned: trust is built in the little moments. Not just in telling her you dress—but in showing her how it fits into your life. Be open about when you dress. Keep no secrets. Invite her into your experience, even if just by reading your blog or seeing photos of your femme self. But always on her terms. And above all—listen. Really listen. Her fears are valid. Her feelings matter just as much as yours. If she needs reassurance about your sexuality, your commitment, your intentions—give it freely. Not defensively. Not dismissively. But with love. Because the truth is, being a crossdresser doesn’t mean you’re any less of a man, a partner, or a father. It just means you have another side. A softer side. A side you’ve come to embrace. And if you’re lucky enough to be on this journey with someone you love—cherish that. Keep talking. Keep sharing. Keep growing. Together. Davina

Crossdressing, for me, has never just been about putting on a dress or slipping into a pair of heels. It’s a part of who I am—quietly, privately, and over the years, more confidently. But the path of being a crossdresser while juggling life, relationships, family, and responsibilities… that’s a delicate balancing act. For those of us lucky enough to be out to our partners—like I am—it’s still not always easy. There’s always that internal tightrope walk between self-expression and sensitivity to our partner’s comfort zone. Some days, I want to dress more, explore more, be Davina more often. But I also know my wife has her own boundaries, her own feelings, and her own fears—many of which we've talked through and continue to revisit as this journey unfolds. I write blogs like this to keep that conversation alive, not just between us, but with others who might be walking a similar path. I know firsthand how valuable it is to have that line of communication, to hear "I see you, I get it" from someone else. But I also see the other side—those who can’t be open, who aren't out to their partners. For many crossdressers, life is lived in secret. Hidden wardrobes. Stolen moments when the house is empty. Lingerie tucked away in boxes. Wigs and heels wrapped up and pushed to the back of cupboards. That sudden heart-racing moment when a car pulls up and you're mid-transformation. I’ve been there. Some find ways to express themselves while away with work—packing that extra bag with their femme clothes and sneaking out to dress in hotels or attend events like Sparkle or other trans meetups. But even that comes with guilt, secrecy, and a constant worry of being found out. It’s exactly what was described in the book Something to Confess—a t-girl sneaking away, dressing up in secret, even going out fully transformed while their partner remained in the dark. Then there's the added layer of having a family. Kids at home mean time and privacy are rare luxuries. That window of opportunity to dress gets smaller. You find yourself back in the closet, figuratively and literally, hiding things again, stealing slivers of time here and there. Not because you’re ashamed—but because life gets in the way. The truth is, crossdressing doesn’t just go away. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes, it’s at the front of your mind. Other times, it takes a back seat. But the need, the desire, the identity—it’s always there. So how do you balance it all? For me, the answer lies in honesty—when possible. Patience. Respect. And communication, over and over. It’s knowing that my wife’s acceptance took time, and still takes effort. That every time I step into Davina’s shoes, I do so without stepping on her feelings. That I don’t push too far too fast. And that I listen—truly listen—when she expresses fears or needs reassurance. And to those who aren’t out—I see you. I know the struggle. I know how lonely it can feel. That’s why I created my blog and forum in the first place—to help others feel less alone, to show that it’s possible to be a crossdresser and still be a loving partner, a parent, and a fully present human being. This journey isn’t perfect. It’s messy. But it’s also real. And it’s ours. Davina

A post from another wife.. When my husband first opened up to me about crossdressing, I won’t pretend it didn’t come as a shock. It was emotional, confusing, and I had so many questions—about him, about us, and yes, about what it meant for our relationship. But over time, what I discovered is something simple and beautiful: it doesn’t change who he is. In fact, it helped me understand him more deeply. He’s still the man I fell in love with. Still the brilliant, funny, strong, sensitive man I married. But he also has a hidden beautiful, graceful, feminine side of him I never expected. And surprisingly, I’ve come to see her as a best friend too. We talk about clothes, share makeup tips, and sometimes even giggle over a new dress or pair of heels. There’s something really special about sharing those moments—woman to woman—with your husband. Some people might not understand it. They assume crossdressing is about being gay, or perverted, or even about wanting to become a woman full-time. That hasn’t been our reality. For my husband, it’s about expression and escapism. It’s a way to relieve stress, to unwind, to reconnect with a softer energy inside himself. I see how happy he is when he becomes her—and as someone who loves him deeply, why wouldn’t I support that? I’ll be honest, it hasn’t always been easy. There are moments I still wrestle with it, especially when it comes to intimacy. But we’re learning together. And the key has been communication. Honest, vulnerable conversations have made all the difference. We’ve created our own language around it. We even joke about it now—quietly, privately. Like when I spray my perfume and say, “I know you like smelling like a woman,” or when I tease him about wearing knickers. Those moments make it feel light, safe, and real. Being in a relationship with a crossdresser doesn’t make me less of a woman. It doesn’t make him less of a man. It makes us more open, more empathetic, and in many ways—more intimate. We share a secret that’s become something quite beautiful between us. To the other wives and girlfriends out there—don’t panic. It’s okay to have questions, to feel unsure. But try not to let fear or judgement take over. Ask questions. Listen. Laugh together. Cry if you need to. But stay open. You might just discover a deeper love than you imagined—one that embraces every layer of the person you love. Esme

art 1: The Evolution of a Crossdresser: From Fantasy to Identity Crossdressing for many begins in secret, often tied to curiosity or excitement. For me, it began in my youth—an innocent fascination with lingerie and the softness of women's clothing. At first, it was thrilling, a private experience tied to discovery and sensuality. Over the years, it evolved into something deeper: identity, expression, and self-care. What started as occasional escapism turned into a grounded part of who I am. As Davina, I don’t just dress up. I transform. I feel at peace, confident, and emotionally whole. It’s no longer just fantasy—it's identity. Part 2: Explaining Crossdressing to a Partner: The Honest Conversation Telling my wife was the hardest, yet most essential step in accepting myself. Her initial reactions were shock, confusion, even fear. But over time, and with open communication, she began to understand that crossdressing is part of me—not something I chose, but something that helps me cope, connect, and feel alive. We had many difficult talks, moments of laughter, and even shared wardrobe tips. Her acceptance didn’t come overnight, but her love and support have made all the difference. Honesty, patience, and compassion are key. Part 3: The Sensual Side: Loving How You Look and Feel There’s something deeply empowering about looking in the mirror and loving what you see. When I become Davina, I feel sensual, graceful, and completely in tune with myself. The makeup, the heels, the dress—it’s more than clothes. It’s how they make me feel. That arousal that once came with dressing hasn’t disappeared entirely. It’s changed. It’s about confidence and beauty. Some might label this autogynephilia, but I call it self-appreciation. I feel sexy as Davina, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying that feeling. Part 4: Acceptance vs. Understanding: What We Hope For There's a difference between accepting and truly understanding. My wife accepts Davina, but I know she still has questions, worries, maybe even insecurities. That’s okay. What matters is she respects this part of me and allows it space in our lives. I wish society were more accepting, or even just curious without judgment. We don't need to be fully understood to be treated with kindness. But maybe through stories like mine, understanding will grow. Part 5: Sexuality and Crossdressing: Not the Same Thing One of the biggest misconceptions is that crossdressing is about being gay, bisexual, or perverted. The truth is, it has nothing to do with sexuality. I’m a straight man who loves women. I’m married and faithful. Crossdressing is not about who I’m attracted to, but how I feel. It’s escapism. It’s expression. It’s relief from the pressure of being the alpha male all the time. My identity as Davina lets me explore softness, beauty, and emotion that I often hide in my day-to-day life. Part 6: Creating a Femme Persona: Is She a Different Version of You? Davina is me, but also not me. She’s more confident, softer, and emotionally expressive. My wife says I’m nicer as Davina. Even my voice and posture change. Is she an act or a version of my true self that only emerges with the right clothes and mindset? Maybe she’s both. A persona that reveals the real me beneath the surface. Part 7: The Mental Health Benefits of Dressing: Escapism, Stress Relief, Confidence Crossdressing isn’t just a hobby. It’s a pressure valve. In times of stress, when I can’t dress, the weight of responsibility and expectation builds. Putting on a pair of panties or spraying a little perfume can take the edge off. Becoming Davina, fully dressed, can be an emotional reset. It helps my mental health, lets me feel free, and gives me a break from the constant performance of masculinity. It’s my therapy. Part 8: Raising Awareness: Changing the Narrative Around Crossdressing It’s time we rewrite the story. Crossdressing isn’t dangerous, disgusting, or deviant. It’s just another way people find themselves, express beauty, and cope with life. I hope my journey inspires others to be honest, feel seen, and know they’re not alone. Maybe one day I’ll write a book. For now, these blog posts are my way of helping people understand. If you’re reading this, know it’s okay to be different. To feel feminine. To enjoy dressing. You’re not broken. You’re brave. Davina